This time around the weight loss has not been so easy. I know it has only been 9 weeks since Jasper was born but with Jocelynne I was pre pregnancy weight with in a few week of giving birth granted I was 50lbs over a healthy BMI. This time around 9 weeks after birth I am 20ish lbs heavier than I was when I fell pregnant and I was sitting right at the top end of my healthy BMI then. I am back to attending regular Weight Watchers meetings and following the plan which allows for nursing mothers. I have to say it is HARD this time around.
Planning meals and finding time to cook especially as Joss has become some what of a picky eater take a lot of fore thought. I will not lie most nights when Philip is working I tend to have a ready meal for dinner. Also living with my mother in law means that there is stuff in the house that I just wouldn't buy and having to think about her likes and dislikes when we cook as a family. While she is not a picky eater she tends towards the meat and potato and two veg style of eating where Philip and I very much enjoy ethnic food and we like a lot of spice which isn't her thing. While she would never complain and would be happy to cook her own food if we were having something she dislike I find food a social experience and feel that when at all possible all should be included in the meal.
Fitness has also been really hard for me, I was quite active at the gym before I fell pregnant with Jasper and while the pregnancy came as a surprise it was my initial intention to carry on while my normal classes and work outs as long as I was comfortable and augmenting them as and where needed to continue for as long as possible. Unfortunately dealing with gallstones during the pregnancy took a lot of my physical energy and would take 3-5 days to recover from an attack and in the beginning I had 6 attacks in 8 weeks and then further attacks at spaced out intervals. By the time I attack free around 28 weeks I felt I had missed to much of my normal gym routine to jump right back in so used walking as my main source of exercise. So I feel like I am pretty much starting at square one again as far as fitness levels.
I don't know if it was the fact that I was back to pre pregnancy weight so quickly after Joss that I didn't really suffer with body image issue but this time around it is hard to see my flabby tummy as a badge of honour and a sign of the beautiful children I have made and carried for 9 months. Being in this in between time as I again try and build my fitness levels has been a lesson in self love and patience truly giving into the "season of life" I am in right now and acknowledging that I can't just pop out to the gym every night (not that I would have the energy at the moment). I have started a Pilate's class on Saturday morning, am trying to fit in as much walking as possible and thanks to a supportive husband this means 2-4 long walks each week either on my own or with just Jasper in the push chair (we do have a Phil and Ted's Vibe which easily converts from single to double but after a few attempt I have leaned that while it is good for getting around to run errands it is too heavy for me to do major walks with both in it).
Fear is also playing a huge part in setting me back, I don't want to be that person in the back of the class who can't keep up and to be honest I am still unsure how and when to incorporate ab exercises back into my work out which makes me shy away from the normal aerobics classes I use to enjoy.
I am grateful for such a supportive husband who knows that the key to me being a more content person which means a better mother is to be able to get to the gym and do the long walks. He also thinks outside the box and suggests ways to fit in exercise when I don't. A huge key to getting back at it quicker this time is the fact that Jasper will take a bottle meaning I have time to get to and from the gym and do my work out with out worrying that I have an unhappy baby at home. I have also realised that if I want to be able to leave Jasper in the creche at the gym I have to start early as I waited till Joss was over a year old and she never settled and after a few disastrous attempt I gave up. At the moment I am leaving Jasper for one one hour session a week while I take Joss swimming and once Joss starts preschool in the fall I will use that to do a class and may up it to two sessions a week.
I did it after Joss and to be honest that was harder because I didn't know I could do it I had been over weight all my life and afraid of the gym and by the time I fell pregnant with Jasper two years later I was a healthy weight and felt good about my shape and my fitness levels. I just have to remember I was not there 9 weeks after she was born and that the greatest gift I can give myself is kindness and acceptance of where I am at the moment.
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